Still Plotting

Kenobi – He’s the Worst

Casting

How can a character played by such likeable actors as Sir Alec Guinness and Ewan McGregor be so awful? Wow! That question kind of answers itself. Doesn’t it? I mean, they’re both British actors. Hollywood has always cast Brits as villains. And why not? They’re great at them. So, it should come as no surprise that a little analysis shows that Obi-Wan Kenobi is more baddie than hero.

All the LIES

From the moment we are introduced to Obi-Wan, or Ben, Kenobi, he lies as easily as he breathes. His first act onscreen in Episode IV is to scare off some Sand People by mimicking the sound of a krayt dragon. That’s right. The first thing we learn about him is that he will use deception when he sees it as fitting.

When Luke Skywalker reveals that he is looking for Obi-Wan because of a droid, Ben says that he doesn’t recall ever owning a droid. No, R2-D2 wasn’t “owned” by Obi-Wan. The essence of the statement, though, is a deception. There’s simply no scenario where Obi-Wan forgets the little astromech droid that saved his life repeatedly.

As Luke and Obi-Wan continue their discussion, He even lies about his history with Anakin. He says that Vader killed Anakin. A lie. He says that Anakin wanted Luke to have his lightsaber. A lie. He says that Owen and Beru are the ones who are liars because they said that Anakin was a pilot on a spice freighter. This story about Anakin has Kenobi written all over it. He probably told Luke’s Aunt and Uncle to tell Luke this fabrication under the guise of keeping him safe.

What a Show Off

To get passage past some Stormtroopers, Obi-Wan employs the Jedi mind trick. He explains to Luke that the weak minded are easily swayed. Minutes later, He’s in a bar hacking off some drunkards arm. Is the intoxicated bar patron’s mind not weak enough for the Jedi mind trick? I know if the guy was trying to sell him death sticks, he would’ve told him to go reconsider his life. (That’s a prequel reference)

I think he does all this to show off for Luke. “Look at me! I’m a fancy Jedi Knight! I can talk my way past guards and I’ll just as easily dismember some random stranger who presents no true threat other than drunken yammering.”

**If You Only Read One Part, Make It This.**

During the rescue of Princess Leia, there is a battle between Obi-Wan and Darth Vader. As they fight, Obi-Wan sees Luke heading for the Millennium Falcon. He looks back to Vader and smirks. It’s in this moment that his inner tactician is working hardest. Obi-Wan knows that Luke has just lost his family. He already views Kenobi as a father figure. Additionally, Obi-Wan has planted the seed that Vader killed his father, Anakin.

Obi-Wan Kenobi uses this moment to become one with the force. He vanishes into thin air just as Darth Vader swings his lightsaber. This creates the illusion of Vader killing Obi-Wan. It’s enough to drive young Luke to attack Vader. Or, rather, it will compel Luke to kill Vader. Kenobi is manipulating a boy into killing his own father. And the thought of that makes him smirk.

Did I mention that Kenobi expects Luke to do this using Anakin’s own lightsaber? “Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough.” Talk about a power move. Absolutely savage.

And About Vader

At any point, Obi-Wan could’ve told him that he has kids. That alone would be enough to reveal the Emperor’s treachery. Instead of telling Vader the truth, he elects to kill Vader, again. Just like back on Mustafar. You know. The whole “high ground” moment. Where Obi-Wan cuts off Anakins arms. And his legs. And leaves him burning on the ground, to suffer, until he dies. What happened to, “we were like brothers!”? Is this how a Jedi treats his Padawan? Leaves him tortured to death? Only if the Jedi is named Obi-Wan and is a bad guy.

Speaking of Padawans

And why was Anakin a padawan of Obi-Wan? Because of Qui-Gon Jinn. One thing Qui-Gonn failed to do was eliminate the elitist nature of Obi-Wan. When they meet Jar Jar Binks, Obi-Wan regards him as lesser. When they get the parts needed to repair their ship on Tatooine, Kenobi asks what pathetic life form they’ve picked up. He’s refering to Anakin. Despite all this, Qui-Gonn wants his padawan to accept the responsibility of training the very young boy that he sees so much potential in. The young Anakin Skywalker.

What if Qui-Gonn Didn’t Die?

Not long ago, a friend asked me this very question. I think the Duel of the Fates isn’t about the battle between Qui-Gonn, Obi-Wan, and Darth Maul. I think it’s about the fate of Anakin. If Qui-Gonn were to have survived, he would go on to train Anakin and everyone lives happily ever after. As it turned out, he did not survive so it becomes Kenobi who trains Anakin. As such, Anakin inherits Kenobi’s elitist mentality. He sees the Tuskens as animals and slaughters them. He sees himself as better than the Jedi council and defies their orders. He even disregards advice from the woman he loves because he’ll do anything to prove that he doesn’t need others as much as they need him.

Anakin isn’t inherintly bad. The teachings of Kenobi bring out the worst in him.

Qui-Gonn Dies Because of Obi-Wan

At the start of prequel Episode I, Qui-Gonn and Obi-Wan are in a stand off against some destroyer droids. They then run off at ludicrous speed. Like, seriously fast. Cut to the fight against Darth Maul. The part where it’s just Qui-Gonn versus Maul. They’re separated by those laser door things and Qui-Gonn is being all zen. He’s centering himself and preparing for the coming fight. Maul, on the other hand, is pacing like a feral dog. Obi-Wan is a stone’s throw away. He’s close enough to see everything that’s happening. As the doors open, Qui-Gonn springs into action and the battle with Darth Maul continues.

Where’s Obi-Wan? He’s just jogging along at a leisurely pace. If he’d used some of that Jedi speed, he would’ve gotten there in time to help Qui-Gonn. But, No! He had to trot along like he had all the time in the world. That elitist thing got him again. He didn’t give Maul the credit he deserved.

Now, it’s Kenobi in the laser doors. Just like Maul was, now Obi-Wan is the one chomping at the bit to get out there. Not to avenge Qui-Gonn, but to beat Maul down. If not for Kenobi’s lazy pace to get back in the fight, Qui-Gonn could have lived.

Everything About Tatooine Is Suspect

Let’s burn through some of these in double time. Kenobi “hides” Luke on the same planet Anakin is from. He uses his real name of Kenobi, even though he’s in hiding. While Luke is living with his Aunt and Uncle, Harry Potter style, he let’s Luke use the last name of Skywalker even though Owen and Beru’s last name is Lars. Obi-Wan openly carries a lightsaber. He also wears his Jedi robes, like daily. It’s as if everything Obi-Wan does on Tatooine is to dare Darth Vader to come at him. That would get him another fight with Vader. Thus, giving him a chance to finish what he started.

Wait, there’s more. The scene where Obi-Wan and Luke find the Jawas that have been killed. Luke is concerned that his family is in danger. Obi-Wan tries to stop him, saying that it’s too dangerous. He doesn’t say too dangerous to go alone. Or, “Hey, I’ll go with you.” And while Luke is gone, Obi-Wan has C-3PO burn the bodies of the Jawas. Why? Even I can’t come up with a theory behind that move. It’s just creepy.

I Told You He’s the Worst

After all this, you can’t possibly still think of Obi-Wan “Ben” Kenobi as a good guy. In case you do, check out these deals below from Amazon. As for the rest of you…Maybe use those links down there too? I need those sweet, sweet affiliate dollars! So, that’s the Kenobi theory. What do you think? Yes? No? Maybe so? Leave your take in the comments below!

And I didn’t even have to dip into the old theory about Obi-Wan hooking up with Padme.

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