Some Questions About Superman
Which Superman, Amirite?
So, there have been quite a few iterations of the Man of Steel. In the most recent turn, from Henry Cavill, we see the current version. 2013 brought the first installment in the DCEU, or DC Extended Universe. This was, of course, Man of Steel. The movie would prove to be the beginning of a set of films designed to go head to head with the already successful Marvel films known as the MCU or Marvel Cinematic Universe. Despite a 5 year deficit, DC began to carve out the makings of their own ecosystem of superhero films that would cross over and weave between one another. As Christopher Nolan had just wrapped up a trilogy of very strong Batman films, he was brought in to work with David S. Goyer to include some of that same magic on the story for Man of Steel.
From Man to Superman
To give credit where it is due, Henry Cavill underwent an incredible physical transformation to play the man from Krypton. I’m just not sold on him fooling anyone into not knowing his secret identity simply by donning some glasses. Cavill put on so much muscle… To say an enormous amount would be a disservice to enormity. He truly sculpted himself to action figure proportions. I’m looking at you, 1980’s He-Man toys. Yeah, like this, https://amzn.to/2JjFbfZ . Ridiculous. There’s just no way anyone could possibly not put 2 + 2 together and figure out that Clark Kent is Superman.
On the Boat
I’m getting way ahead of myself. Remember early on, when we see Clark living a somewhat transient lifestyle? He kind of floats from job to job. At one point he’s on what looks like a crab fishing crew, Deadliest Catch style. The boat is getting tossed around by the waves and one of the cages that catch the haul is about to fall onto Clark. Out of nowhere, Boom! This big fisherman dude tackles Clark out of harms way and then chastises him for not being more careful.
Umm…What?
Some random guy can just tackle Clark Kent? Shouldn’t that guy have felt like he just threw himself into a truck bumper? How do you expect me to believe that an Average Joe can throw Superman around? It’s ridiculous. The next scene should’ve been that guy writhing around in agony.
The Transformation
The story moves along until Clark is finally led to the Kryptonian spaceship. Here, his space Dad tells him about his destiny as Superman. Clark grabs a shower and a shave, gets suited up, and continues through the rest of the story as the Man of Steel.
How?
They always explain that Superman is only super by way of Earth’s yellow sun. So…about that shave. Did the Kryptonian’s ship some kind of souped up razor? I mean, if he can’t get hurt, how did he hurt his beard? He goes into the ship looking like a stubbly lumberjack, then exits looking baby faced like he hasn’t hit puberty yet.
And, while we’re on the subject of shaving, what about other hairs that guys generally need to maintain in some way? Yes, I mean haircuts. All grown up, Clark has a kind of typical short hair look. How’s he been keeping that up? It’s not like he can just hit up a Great Clips and get a trim.
The Worst Offense
By far, the thing that makes me the most banana sandwich through all this is the part about the “S” emblazoned across his chest. I get it. Graphically, the big S on the chest of Superman is kind of a no brainer. My problem is this thing that’s been happening where everything has to be explained to the audience. In this case, the offensive grievance is telling us that the S isn’t an S at all, but rather a symbol that represents “hope.” I’m gonna go ahead and say, “No.” In every iteration of the Superman story, baby Kal-El is sent to Earth by his parents. They send him so he can escape the demise of their home planet. How do they know something bad is coming? It’s because the House of El is in charge of Kryptonian science. Therefore, all the El stuff has a big “S” on it because it denotes that the item is from the Department of Science. I’ll say it again.
The S is for science.
As a young boy, comic book in hand, I never questioned this idea. It always just followed reason. The S is from Clark’s stuff that his parents shipped him off with. It was an emblem that reminds him of home, so it goes on his super suit. Once the staff at the Daily Planet decide that the hero needs a name, it’s just good branding that they, the writers at the Daily Planet, name him Superman. How pompous would that have been if he shows up for an interview and proceeds to tell them that he calls himself super and you should too? Nonsense.
Speaking of the Suit
During one of the flashbacks, we are shown a young Clark Kent running around the yard with a towel tied to him like it’s a cape. This is, of course, to foreshadow the image of the hero he will one day become. The question is this. Why did he play with a cape on? When I was little, I tied a towel around my neck and pretended to fly around like Superman. But, I grew up with Superman comics. What comic hero was little Clark reading about? I can’t think of a single one that makes even a shadow of sense.
What Do You Think?
There are the questions. Do you agree with any of them or am I just nit picking? I have always had a love of the Superman story. And, before you ask, yes, I understand that the story is for kids and not grown men on the internet. My only bone of contention here is that, like so many other stories, once you start to really pay attention, things begin to unravel. How about you? Do you like to overthink these tales of fancy, too? Yes? No? Maybe so? Leave your take in the comments below! And don’t forget to check out these affiliate deals from Amazon. We have scoured their inventory to curate some of our favorites just for you.
